Sober Vacations

San Diego is one of my favorite places ever. The whimsical combination of California beaches and implanted tropical flora creates a unique paradise. In the last couple years, I’ve enjoyed two extended visits which were some of the best experiences in my sobriety.

At first it was hard to conceptualize vacation without alcohol - what about brunch, day drinking and tropical drinks?! Well it turns out tropical drinks hit differently when they’re refreshing, nourishing AND hydrating. Plus, no hangovers, of course.

Sobriety has encouraged me (sometimes forcefully) to source new hobbies and interests. And there’s no better way to discover new parts of myself and feed the desires of my inner child than the freedom of sobriety and vacation combined.

In July 2021 I admired a group of people dancing around on roller skates at Mission Beach. I wanted to be just like them! Reflecting on the last time I had gone skating as a kid, I bought a pair of metallic silver skates at a shop on the boardwalk. I planned to go roll around the parking lot a bit and be on my way. How hard could it be?

Two falls and a big bruise on my butt later, I packed up for the day and signed up for a lesson at the roller rink close to where I was staying. After three classes I was dancing and practicing at the park.

This experience was exemplary of my whole 2021 trip - energetic, carefree, adventurous, confident, empowered. My summer trip to sunny San Diego was part of my bi coming out adventure (read more in my post Share Your Sparkle), and it was all about freedom of expression in my new sobriety. I had seemingly unlimited energy and absolutely no commitments at all.

My vacation this year had a completely different purpose. I was visiting for the wedding of my close friend from elementary school. It was so beautiful! Best vows I've ever heard. So instead of expressing myself with short skirts, shiny and sparkles, I saved my energy for the wedding weekend and the epic dance floor.

And it just so happened, I was vacationing days ahead of my sober-anniversary date - May 18th. In addition to some other life complications, I experienced cravings for alcohol, stress, nightmares, and low energy. The weather was also much cooler, with cloudy skies on top of a historically rainy spring for the area.

Flexibility and self compassion made a really big difference. I met myself where I was, and although I had to check my expectations, I ended up having a really great trip. It was mellow, peaceful, and quiet. I finished two books while lounging on the sand and at the spa. I toured Balboa park with a guide and learned about the history of the area. For some physical release, I found an outdoor batting cage and hit 100 slow pitch softballs. I was surprised at my accuracy!

These two trips couldn't be more different from each other. My activities and options were based on how I was feeling day to day. Feeling and connection is major growth for me. The spectrum of sober vacations inspires me to see the variety of possibilities I have in the future! Some pictures of each trip collected below.

What have you learned vacationing sober? Tell me all the tricks and tips - @macjayallday <3

July 2021

May 2023