Mabel and Me

♪♪ Let me tell ya 'bout my best friend ♪♪

Mabel is my 3 year old golden doodle. She cute.

Mabel is my favorite being. She knows all my secrets and loves me unconditionally. She’s always excited to see me. She's super smart and it blows my mind how much she pays attention to my every move. She even knows how the space bar pauses a movie on my computer and it means we're leaving the room.

The other day I was opening the car door to let her out of the backseat and instead of opening the door normally, I jokingly opened the door like a chauffeur. She got out like a princess on the red carpet. She knows the deal. I open all the doors for her, actually. She won’t push open any door. It’s the cutest thing. You’ll see a cracked door with a little black nose sticking out like she’s saying “please open this door I want to join you.”

There’s a door at the top of the stairs from the basement to the main level of my parent's house where I currently live. If the door is mostly closed, Mabel will race up the stairs and wait at the top in front of the door waiting for me to push it open for her. At first I encouraged her to just open the door. “You can do it,” I would say. But I quickly realized how sweet and well behaved it was that she had to ask to enter. Now I open all her doors with a smile.

I never knew I could love this much. I barely knew how to love at all. Mabel taught me how to love her and then I learned how to love myself. I started to give myself the same care and compassion I recognized she deserved and needed.

She came into my life when I needed her most and guided me out of a bad situation - in a demeaning work environment, a toxic apartment and an overripe romantic relationship.

My partner at the time was concerned that a puppy was too expensive and too much work. I was convinced a service dog would help me manage my PTSD. One day while scrolling my Facebook feed, I saw a picture of the sweetest little black ball of fluff sleeping on a couch cushion.

She had no place to go and she needed someone to adopt her immediately. I messaged her owner and organized her arrival for 7pm.

Her original owners and the first adoption mom met me at my apartment. They brought her kennel, blankets, food, collar, and toys. They told me about her story - they had taken her home at 8 weeks and their older two labradoodles were bullying her. The two older dogs were brother and sister and the sister didn’t like anyone interacting with the new baby. Mabel was unable to eat or receive affection from her human parents, and certainly wan’t getting any love from the other dogs.

The first foster mom took her in but also had another dog. After three days, she said she couldn’t keep Mabel and that’s the day they brought her to me.

Mabel was so docile I thought she was sick. She was traumatized. I could relate! Within an hour I knew she was my dog and from then on we did everything together. I began training her as my service dog at 12 weeks with deep pressure therapy. She came with me to work, the coffee shop, on walks, we went to puppy kindergarten, tried new experiences, met all the people. She started to open up and show her personality. She loved the snow and making new friends. She hated motorcycle sounds and snuggling. Her favorite toy was a ratty, squeaky raccoon.

Training Mabel got me out of bed in the morning. It still does. (Read here how hard that can be) Every day I have to get her playtime to start the day and I’ve built it into my routine. She helped me establish a morning routine and I learned how vital consistency and movement are to manage my symptoms. Mabel also encouraged my mom and I to take an evening walk while my mom was fighting cancer.

Mabel has guided my life in many ways. Most notably was only two months after I adopted her.

One morning while I was still working in a place I was underpaid, under-appreciated and overworked, I took Mabel for our usual morning walk. She did her bathroom business and we walked upstairs. Well I started working and next thing I know Mabel is taking a giant shit in the middle of the office. I had yet to learn her regular cycle has two poops! I left the office and gave my two weeks notice the next day. It was the extra push I needed.

The next week, I noticed Mabel especially itchy in my apartment. She was spending more time there as I worked some of my final two weeks from home. That's when I discovered black mold. We went to stay with a family friend who could watch Mabel while I worked my final days in the office. The apartment complex was supposed to clean the apartment. Well, lots of drama and negotiation later, we never went back to live in that apartment. I turned to my parents, with a relationship in need of some serious repair, and showed up to their house puppy and partner in tow.

Graciously and maybe reluctantly, they agreed to let us all stay. I was too scared to tell them I had quit my job and was going to work freelance. My ex actually did that for me. He and I had stayed together in those last few months because we lived together. The apartment was the final straw. If I was going to have to live with my parents anyway, I needed a clean break. I told him it was over within the month.

My parents fell in love with Mabel and she helped to repair our relationship. There was always a little cutie pie to break the ice (and a reason to step away). I started to feel more comfortable sharing and I had a safe space to really heal. Within a few months the joint pain that had been plaguing me for years decreased by about 90%. I specifically remember a day I was doing yoga in the morning and I just felt good. It was the first time I wasn't in debilitating pain for five years. The next year I got sober.

Mabel was the catalyst and I will never forget how she enhanced my life. She’ll always be teaching me. She will continue to change my life because she taught me how to love with all my heart.

Do you have a dog in your life? How have they changed and/or improved it? Send me their pictures on instagram!